Online Friendship – Definition Defined in 2009
Nothing’s hotter in the water in the evangelical circuit than the discussion about the use of online technology in regards to community building and “church”.
Although there are a lot of particularities that have been battled over, eventually the conversation always heads toward whether “real” community can be formed online. Inherit in these conversations is the granular discussion about the dynamics of community.
One such granularity is the meaning of “friendship”.
Techcrunch posted an intriguing thought-stream by the founder a few days ago titled: “The Meaning of Friendship“. Quote:
The social networks themselves, and those of us who spend a lot of time there, are still trying to work out the details on what it means to be a friend with someone online. With friendship comes benefits – you get a stream of information about the person, but it also has costs (you have to wade through a stream of information about the person, and they get access to your intimate details).
True. Without question. The evolution of your network and social community has radically shifted, for the good I’d argue, but it’s not without the bumps of “humanity” that wreck such a seemingly-perfect deal that technology affords.
And that’s why the Church, and all of us as technoevangelists engaging in the online world, are sitting pretty.
Why?
Because I believe that we, the Church, are the few and empowered people that can truly answer Mike’s question. 2009 will be a BIG year where ministries will have to grapple with these questions and be forced to engage on a spiritual level of what it means to bring community online.
Some additional challenges we face this year:
- Wading through the “noise” of hundreds of voices.
- Managing relationships in a better fashion.
- Trusting in our “tools” much much much more.
- Being frustrated when we realize these tools, in and of themselves, are insufficient for the 100% true Christian experience.
- Managing “change management” and “change relational dynamics”. I’ll speak more to this later perhaps.
- “Old guard” adapting to a fast paced world of tech.
- Culture clashes of epic proportions.
- Time management. The “honeymoon of technological adoption” stage that everyone goes through.
- Issues of sustainability.
- Spiritual development.
Any more you’d care to add or that are on your hearts? It’s going to be a wild, wild year. I’m pumped. Let’s do it.
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33 Responses to “Online Friendship – Definition Defined in 2009”
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John, thanks for attacking this issue and starting the list. The thing that I would add is figuring out when and how to "unplug" from the tools/tech. This may fall under your item #4.
What I mean is that many people gt a new hammer and treat everything like a nail. We, the Church, have to be especially careful to use discernment in the when and how we use our shiny new tools or we run the risk of just hitting everything with them.
Keep the conversation going! Peace.
I think you hit the nail on the head (pun intended). The Internet and what it offers are just tools. It is not the message. The tools can and will change over time and we need to be prepared to adjust with them. I think you raise a valid point of incorporating online relationships without sacrificing the offline ones.
yum.
juicy…
definitely. in fact, i encountered this today…. gr…………………
Good insight! I'm new to the blogosphere and am excited about what 2009 will bring for the empowerment of technology as it hopefully plays a key role in the growth of my church.
it will…! it's going to ramp up this year… just watch. i'm calling it now.
The challenge is to form relationships that are not on the surface only. Surface relationships are easy in this world, one must work to deepen them, or you wind up a mile wide and an inch deep in social interaction.
As far as culture clashes, that is always going to happen. The old guard lets go reluctantly, but the new wave has the advantage of time and a growing number of people are their side. Things will change, but not always how anyone would have expected.
i'm ready for surprises.. that's why i love what i do. technology is only as predictable as the God who apparently is behind all of it.
w00t!
It is good you love what you do, because you want to be doing it a long time! Just look at the professors at DTS!
1st class down. 2nd class… 32 hours…
You raise some very good points. Along with a definition of friendship comes questions of branding, and whether its important…
branding…. oOoOoooooooooooh…
A thought came up reading this article. What is the difference between my friends in my online social networks versus those in the real world? Layers. Mike's quote: "they get access to your intimate details."
One of the problems of creating true "intimacy" as online friends lies in the fact that if I add something on Facebook (for example) for close friends to see all of my other friends can see it as well. Therefore, I am less likely to add truly intimate details that come through close offline relationships. Could adding layers improve this? Maybe the layers would be friend levels, where certain close friends see more than people classified as casual acquaintances.
Just a thought…
it's also a "cheat" mechanism… i can post intimate details about myself without having to share them face2face. i've had some really whack conversations that started out like:
"wah…? you didn't know that about me? i posted it on facebook…!"
uh… yeah. like i was supposed to know you were divorced and remarried twice… thanks for the headsup… should have prowled around your fb profile more…
… sheesh.
True, true. It allows us to be a little lazy in the relationships. Good point.
i'm lazy.
doh!i have some peeps that were separated and i kept asking the lady about why her husband isn't on there?oof!my wife even knew that…there's that dumb mechanism.
i now will only share something personal-after it occurs.i don't say,"watching a movie w/the missus",but "watched a movie with the missus."i still want those key people in my life to experience it together first,then we tweet to our million followers who may or may not care anyways.-nuff said
Whoops. That would be a little awkward.
I stick my foot in my mouth a lot so I an empathize.
i've developed a special tool for foot to mouth removal.it's still in the pre-patent stages.it comes from a natural over-aggressive,over-communication, very helpful in sales, not so much with personal relationships.When people talk to me nowadays it's like drinking off a firehouse. Way too much pressure in the line. So I'm writing more and working out. And joining up with Ignite Portland, etc. to co-mingle with homies.
do you think i do alot? guess…
hilarious.
i disconnected my twitter/fb last night.there's too much personal stuff and family/friends stuff,old college homies,etc. i get invites daily to become friends with people on fb.i don't mind linkedin,twitter,or whatever.
Is it a permanent disconnect or just a temporary one?
I have to admit that I do not use LinkedIn much. Only so many social networks where I can be a solid participant.
temporary disconnect until we figure out how to co-mingle the two.
avatar change?
good for you.
i'm stoked about the new year.i've went to the leadership and told them that i'm requesting a change in my description.we all need to start thinking boldly. this is a new shot at a still-new deal to start a virtual fire just like my boy, Paul the Apostle…remember him? If not, stop right now, and read The Acts of the Apostles. Get motivated,get inspired,get moving…'nuff said!
are there two "jim gray" s out therE?
can i get one. do you sell them?
… yes.
Uh, after reading the convo with you wife a few days ago on your other blog I would most definitely say yes. Welcome to the club my friend. hehe.