Comments on: The Internet and Your Social Skills (Or Lack Thereof) http://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/ Exploring the Intersection of Web Technology and the Church Sat, 20 Mar 2010 03:02:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: human3rrorhttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50227 human3rror Sun, 08 Nov 2009 14:10:06 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50227 walmart ftw... ;) walmart ftw… ;)

]]> By: Stuarthttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50216 Stuart Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:04:01 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50216 Interesting. I hadn't come across those articles but like yourself I agre, it is both. But I don't think it has anything to do with being introverted or extroverted. I think it is a modern maliase of not being able to connect - is that the fault of the internet or social media I just don't know. What I do know is that making "real connections" seem very hard to come by. Unless you're lucky. Or unless you happen to have the right face or you're in the right place then connections just don't seem to get made. Maybe a superficial connection is all that we can make - sure, not all of us can connect with all of us - but there has to be more that can be made from all. So yes our connections are more diverse but equally they have become so superficial that we can feel isolated. I guess the big names or the big faces have more of an onus on them to make relationship things happen - but I have no idea how they'd do that or even if they can (or care to). Meanwhile - I shall continue to keep pursuing connections and trying to establish more than a fleeting knowledge of these folks. Interesting. I hadn't come across those articles but like yourself I agre, it is both.

But I don't think it has anything to do with being introverted or extroverted. I think it is a modern maliase of not being able to connect – is that the fault of the internet or social media I just don't know.

What I do know is that making "real connections" seem very hard to come by. Unless you're lucky.

Or unless you happen to have the right face or you're in the right place then connections just don't seem to get made. Maybe a superficial connection is all that we can make – sure, not all of us can connect with all of us – but there has to be more that can be made from all.

So yes our connections are more diverse but equally they have become so superficial that we can feel isolated. I guess the big names or the big faces have more of an onus on them to make relationship things happen – but I have no idea how they'd do that or even if they can (or care to).

Meanwhile – I shall continue to keep pursuing connections and trying to establish more than a fleeting knowledge of these folks.

]]> By: Inexplainabletroverthttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50212 Inexplainabletrovert Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:21:43 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50212 [...] - John Saddington [...] [...] – John Saddington [...]

]]> By: dewdehttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50211 dewde Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:14:49 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50211 Best. Line. Ever. I have totally used that same exact example, substituting "the Internet" for "cocaine". peace | dewde Best. Line. Ever.

I have totally used that same exact example, substituting "the Internet" for "cocaine".

peace | dewde

]]> By: Kyle Reedhttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50210 Kyle Reed Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:11:06 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50210 You are right. I will say that it even goes way beyond the web, church, and into everyone in the world. But that is exactly what you were saying. You are right. I will say that it even goes way beyond the web, church, and into everyone in the world. But that is exactly what you were saying.

]]> By: Fayehttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50208 Faye Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:56:58 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50208 Seems to me that the Internet and relationships are rather like Wal-Mart and relationships or church and relationships. Some people suck at relating to others. Some people excel at it. Some people are annoying, others are enjoyable. Some feel lonely in a crowd, some revel in that. People are people. The places and ways we choose to develop relationships has been broadened by the advent of the Internet, but sometimes, it's kinda like Bill Cosby said in "Himself" -- A friend had told him that cocaine was so wonderful because it intensifies your personality. Bill's response: "Yeah, but what if you're an a$$hole?" Seems to me that the Internet and relationships are rather like Wal-Mart and relationships or church and relationships.
Some people suck at relating to others. Some people excel at it. Some people are annoying, others are enjoyable. Some feel lonely in a crowd, some revel in that.
People are people. The places and ways we choose to develop relationships has been broadened by the advent of the Internet, but sometimes, it's kinda like Bill Cosby said in "Himself" — A friend had told him that cocaine was so wonderful because it intensifies your personality. Bill's response: "Yeah, but what if you're an a$$hole?"

]]> By: dannyjbixbyhttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50206 dannyjbixby Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:45:39 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50206 I agree with what you're saying here....but I don't think this mentality has anything to do with the internet. I think these things like blog stats/twitter followers/name dropping Christian online "celebrities" are not the problem in themselves. They become an easily viewable symptom of a larger problem. We would be doing the same basic thing (attempting to cover for our own insecurities/fears) through some other outlet if we weren't doing it through the online one. People put value into how many conferences they attend, membership numbers at their church, the % of people who volunteer, the % of people who are in small groups, the tithe income, how much money is donated out to missions, the # of hands raised at service that weekend. We can attach our own personal pride onto everything in an attempt to assign ourselves value or comparative worth. It's just a bit more viewable online....because it's in your face. I agree with what you're saying here….but I don't think this mentality has anything to do with the internet.

I think these things like blog stats/twitter followers/name dropping Christian online "celebrities" are not the problem in themselves. They become an easily viewable symptom of a larger problem.

We would be doing the same basic thing (attempting to cover for our own insecurities/fears) through some other outlet if we weren't doing it through the online one.

People put value into how many conferences they attend, membership numbers at their church, the % of people who volunteer, the % of people who are in small groups, the tithe income, how much money is donated out to missions, the # of hands raised at service that weekend.

We can attach our own personal pride onto everything in an attempt to assign ourselves value or comparative worth.

It's just a bit more viewable online….because it's in your face.

]]> By: Kyle Reedhttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50205 Kyle Reed Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:32:21 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50205 Where I have to catch myself is putting some self worth in stats. I often think that the more readers and unique visitors that I have the more people like me. I often can get pretty discouraged if I spend 20 minutes writing something and I get 1 comment (from my grandpa usually). I think this is where the conversation picks up some steam. Are people basing their self worth in how many twitter followers they have, or how many blog visitors and page views they have? If so, their can be a big problem. Because outside of the small community of bloggers, people have no clue what you write and what you read. It is is amazing how we can mention a guy like Carlos Whittaker to somebody on the blog and everyone knows who we are talking about but then can go to a church event, a friends house, etc....and they have no clue who that is. I try not to get to wrapped up in my online identity, and more importantly I try to be myself online as I would be in person (which from what I understand I am a little different online then and I am in person). But I also know that it is very hard to give someone a picture of who you are and what you are about online. Where I have to catch myself is putting some self worth in stats. I often think that the more readers and unique visitors that I have the more people like me. I often can get pretty discouraged if I spend 20 minutes writing something and I get 1 comment (from my grandpa usually). I think this is where the conversation picks up some steam. Are people basing their self worth in how many twitter followers they have, or how many blog visitors and page views they have? If so, their can be a big problem. Because outside of the small community of bloggers, people have no clue what you write and what you read. It is is amazing how we can mention a guy like Carlos Whittaker to somebody on the blog and everyone knows who we are talking about but then can go to a church event, a friends house, etc….and they have no clue who that is. I try not to get to wrapped up in my online identity, and more importantly I try to be myself online as I would be in person (which from what I understand I am a little different online then and I am in person). But I also know that it is very hard to give someone a picture of who you are and what you are about online.

]]> By: Graham Brennahttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50204 Graham Brenna Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:02:26 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50204 I read the Mashable article you mentioned too and was determined to blog about it. You pretty much said everything right here though. I don't like it when people bash everything we're doing here in the online world and say that we're not connecting with the people around us. They don't know that because there isn't a way to get the same quantitative data on the "meatspace" connections as there is for the online connections. It's a scare tactic that doesn't sit well with me. I think you're right though on your introvert/extrover analysis. In some ways I'm an introvert in the "meatspace" but in other ways I'm definitely an extrovert. It depends on the setting. If I'm with my high school kids... extrovert all the way. I act completely goofy around them and they all think I'm weird but I do it because it puts them at ease and makes them feel that their church is a place where they can be themselves... See... now this is becoming a blog post and I think I'll just continue this thought on my blog. haha I read the Mashable article you mentioned too and was determined to blog about it. You pretty much said everything right here though. I don't like it when people bash everything we're doing here in the online world and say that we're not connecting with the people around us. They don't know that because there isn't a way to get the same quantitative data on the "meatspace" connections as there is for the online connections. It's a scare tactic that doesn't sit well with me.

I think you're right though on your introvert/extrover analysis. In some ways I'm an introvert in the "meatspace" but in other ways I'm definitely an extrovert. It depends on the setting. If I'm with my high school kids… extrovert all the way. I act completely goofy around them and they all think I'm weird but I do it because it puts them at ease and makes them feel that their church is a place where they can be themselves…

See… now this is becoming a blog post and I think I'll just continue this thought on my blog. haha

]]> By: human3rrorhttp://churchcrunch.com/the-internet-and-your-social-skills-or-lack-thereof/comment-page-1/#comment-50203 human3rror Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:53:17 +0000 http://churchcrunch.com/?p=6960#comment-50203 ;) ;)

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